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Scapegoat

Steve,
My sincerest sympathies on the loss of your daughter. It's tragic when a loved one dies and I can only imagine what it must be like to loose a child. I am glad you had a support system (in the form of your lodge brothers) to help you through this devastating period. I agree with your assessment that you just can't hang on to all the baggage that comes with family. The only thing I have learned in the short time I’ve been living is that you have to be willing to forget the things you don’t like about family and just love them.

--S

SteveB

I don't know whether to share this or not, but here goes. I've just had a hard lesson about families, which is very much in keeping with some of the lessons of the 3rd Degree. On October 2, my 32 year old daughter died.

Things aren't permanent, and our families are our primary relationships. We don't have limitless time. The mechanisms for relationship are crusty at best, but they are what we have. Hope of life after death is just that, hope. What we have here and now is what we have.

I was angry at my daughter the night she died. I had been for some time. I went to get her for dinner, and she was dead. No more time to make up; no more time at all.

Emotional torture is what you can have left if you're not able to deal with the day to day stuff as an adult, a parent, a child, or a sibling. Be careful. Get better.

My lodge brothers were very kind and helpful. Support was offered as well as prayers. Thanks to all.

Steve, M.M.
Birmingham #188
Beltsville MD

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