Family...

My desk calendar today says:

"Families are about love overcoming emotional torture" - Matt Groening

I can relate to that. The trouble is that the machinery that allows people to interact with each other is imperfect at best. This is complicated by the fact that the people who are closest to you & know you inside & out are the most likely to throw sand into that machine. If it weren't for love acting as a lubricant I doubt there would be many families. If you add the general sense of insecurity most people feel about themselves it's truly a wonder that people are able to build close-ness & a sense of family at all!

--S

Comments

[Scapegoat]

Steve,
My sincerest sympathies on the loss of your daughter. It's tragic when a loved one dies and I can only imagine what it must be like to loose a child. I am glad you had a support system (in the form of your lodge brothers) to help you through this devastating period. I agree with your assessment that you just can't hang on to all the baggage that comes with family. The only thing I have learned in the short time I’ve been living is that you have to be willing to forget the things you don’t like about family and just love them.

--S

[SteveB]

I don't know whether to share this or not, but here goes. I've just had a hard lesson about families, which is very much in keeping with some of the lessons of the 3rd Degree. On October 2, my 32 year old daughter died.

Things aren't permanent, and our families are our primary relationships. We don't have limitless time. The mechanisms for relationship are crusty at best, but they are what we have. Hope of life after death is just that, hope. What we have here and now is what we have.

I was angry at my daughter the night she died. I had been for some time. I went to get her for dinner, and she was dead. No more time to make up; no more time at all.

Emotional torture is what you can have left if you're not able to deal with the day to day stuff as an adult, a parent, a child, or a sibling. Be careful. Get better.

My lodge brothers were very kind and helpful. Support was offered as well as prayers. Thanks to all.

Steve, M.M.
Birmingham #188
Beltsville MD